Anyway, I've been told I need to post some of the conversations I have while trying to brainstorm my stories. So uh, here's the first installment.
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[17:46] TheAuburnDragon: I can't stop playing Tales of Monkey Island. My story is not getting written.
[17:46] M4573rF4c70r3r: Dammit.
[17:46] M4573rF4c70r3r: This makes me sad.
[17:47] M4573rF4c70r3r: C'mon! You had so many ideas yesterday!
[17:48] TheAuburnDragon: Here, I'll give you a paragraph snippet
[17:48] TheAuburnDragon: Enter Jerebiah Dangall Crumps. Once a farmboy, he left the homestead to pursue his true calling in marketing, a profession that had thus far been avoided in this serene, happy world. Switzerland collapsed when these two gentlemen met up, heralding a significant number of our Norse mythology – Fenrir would swallow the sun and the world would be bathed in blood and battle – but all it signified in this alternate Norse mythology was that rabbits would breed especially well in the coming spring and the wise hunters would set up traps that preserved the integrity of the pelt. Jerebiah had never quite hit his stride, always attempting to candy up his items. The motto on his business card read, “If Candy Cain’t Fixit, People’re Dum!” Llewellan was a poor judge of character and an even worse judge of talent.
[17:49] M4573rF4c70r3r: Hmm.
[17:50] TheAuburnDragon: That's actually going to be my motto.
[17:52] M4573rF4c70r3r: Has candy corn been invented yet?
[17:52] M4573rF4c70r3r: Make it a vegetable marketing ploy.
[17:52] TheAuburnDragon: Llewellan has a corn fetish
[17:54] M4573rF4c70r3r: Aha.
[17:54] M4573rF4c70r3r: A strange subsect of foot fetii.
[17:55] TheAuburnDragon: During his stay in the American Midwest – Towns don’t matter, this is the futurepast, remember? – Llewellan became obsessed with the corn farms that stretched for miles throughout Possible Illinois. For a short time he considered dropping his failing Invention Racket in order to pick up a career in Corning (I cannot believe spell check isn’t busting me for that word), but a marathon showing of the Children of the Corn movies gave him a phobia of farms. Wrenched away from his most desired calling, Llewellan began plotting.
Llewellan wanted everyone to know the joy of corn. Little kids, old folks, guys going through midlife crises, housewives, Siamese twins, and fanatical faux meat enthusiasts were all his target audience. “But corn doesn’t market,” he would brood over a fine cup of corn-off-the-cob. “I need to get it to the people.”
[18:02] M4573rF4c70r3r: Hmhm...
[18:02] M4573rF4c70r3r: Where does the time travel come in?
[18:02] TheAuburnDragon: After they invent candy corn and it is SHUNNED by this good, decent world.
[18:03] M4573rF4c70r3r: Hmhm...
[18:03] TheAuburnDragon: So probably in another page.
[18:03] M4573rF4c70r3r: Get thee to writing!
[18:03] TheAuburnDragon: But there's a kitty in my lap. And a cat on facebook to annoy. And I'm huuuungry :(
[18:03] M4573rF4c70r3r: Solution: Eat kitty, shun cat.
[18:04] TheAuburnDragon: Cannibalution: Reverse that.
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[22:01] M4573rF4c70r3r: AHOY, MATEY!
[22:01] TheAuburnDragon: Avast
[22:01] M4573rF4c70r3r: Progress?
[22:01] TheAuburnDragon: I had some soup!
[22:02] M4573rF4c70r3r: Hurray!
[22:03] M4573rF4c70r3r: ...story?
[22:03] TheAuburnDragon: What stor--oh.
[22:04] TheAuburnDragon: I knew I forgot something today
[22:04] M4573rF4c70r3r: Hah.
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Unfortunately, facebook doesn't save chat, so here's the little bit from today. This switches immediately into the next chat segment, we just switched to trillian.
Adam
So, what's down, homie?
9:52pmMatt
Well, I went to the store and bought five bottles of juice, some beer, and a packet of cat toys. Then I came home and ate soup for an hour and fifteen minutes while watching House and Family Guy, then I came here and I'm playing with my cat.
9:52pmAdam
Kitty!
KITTY!
KIIITTYYYY!!!
9:53pmMatt
Yeah, she really likes playing Games.
9:54pmAdam
Cats, however, cannot lose them.
CATS ARE OUR ONLY SALVATION.
10:31pmMatt
HOOOBESSS
PROGRESS IS NOT COMING
ALSO I MAY BE DRUNK
I'm not, but I can never be sure.
10:31pmAdam
You're always dunk.
drunk.
Okay, what is the last thing that happened?
10:32pmMatt
Well, I sat on facebook for 45 minutes and chatted with people.
Also, my cat keeps making me go get her toys.
10:35pmAdam
Okay, last story thing that happened.
10:36pmMatt
Oh
I saved it and went to Iaido.
10:36pmAdam
...and what had you written about, again?
10:37pmMatt
That pooooor baby raptor. Also, the Ministry of Shenanigans.
10:39pmAdam
Right!
Okay, so, he killed a baby raptor.
10:40pmMatt
I never said killed
He hit it with a door
10:40pmAdam
He sees it. He's insane, what does he think.
Right, not killed.
10:40pmMatt
"Where's my kitchen?"
10:40pmAdam
Priorities.
He has 'em.
10:40pmMatt
"Looks like you just hit sumbody's dawg, Sarge."
"That's a zerglin', Lester. Smaller type o' zerg. But they wouldn't be around here unless--...Oh shiyit."
10:42pmAdam
Starcraftastic.
10:44pmMatt
I'm currently in the Ministry of Shenanigans.
10:44pmAdam
Alright.
Ministry.
Who runs them?
Why?
10:45pmMatt
Who cares who runs them. It's an international organization designed to prevent shenanigans. It's kind of like the U.N., but in a place that doesn't have warfare.
But what we DO know is that there are two agents hot on the case of the Bastards Who Went Back In Time With Candy Corn.
Designated Case Number C.
10:48pmAdam
Cool.
Did they just get the case?
10:48pmMatt
Yeah, let me show you what I've got.
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[22:50] TheAuburnDragon: Ok, this is the entire little chapter bit I have on the Ministry so far, haha
[22:50] M4573rF4c70r3r: THANK YOU, YES.
[22:50] TheAuburnDragon: “Sir, we have reports of Shenanigans.” The young man in the suit handed a dossier to the older man in the exact same suit who sat behind an unnecessarily large oak desk.
The old man sighed. “Shenanigans, in this day and age. Well, let’s have a look-see.” He opened the file. Inside was a single sheet of grey paper. “…What is this?”
“Well, sir, it used to be a photograph of the Peacerary in Harmony Square. It’s since faded, and our top scientists are detecting some sort of scientific stuff happening in the space time thing. I don’t really know what they said, I’m a bureaucrat, not a physicist.”
[22:52] M4573rF4c70r3r: How much power does this organization have? What resources do you have at your disposal.
[22:52] TheAuburnDragon: So, you know the power that the theoretical Masons have?
[22:53] M4573rF4c70r3r: Yes. Elaborate. I want to know about the Ministry of Shenanigans.
[22:54] TheAuburnDragon: The Ministry of Shenanigans employs the top Scientists and the bottom level Bureaucrats.
[22:54] M4573rF4c70r3r: Haha
[22:54] TheAuburnDragon: They have fabulous amounts of wealth that is terribly mishandled.
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Man, this is even more hilarious than I remember it being!
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