The Abscondant Hobo: Ok.
The Abscondant Hobo: So.
The Abscondant Hobo: We got this boat, right?
The Abscondant Hobo: Tiny damn thing. More like a kayak.
The Abscondant Hobo: It's got a hole in it.
The Abscondant Hobo: But for some reason, it ain't sinkin'.
The Abscondant Hobo: So I started an exorcism.
The Abscondant Hobo: And it turns out that my wife was possessed, but the boat was clean.
M4573rF4c70r3r: Go on.
The Abscondant Hobo: So we had to form a posse to hunt down the rogue demon that was possessing her.
The Abscondant Hobo: However, the Priest ended up being a cultist. He misled us until he finally showed his cards.
The Abscondant Hobo: While he was giving his monologue, Larry, the rancher, shot him.
The Abscondant Hobo: Tom the Accountant took his priestly garb. He's now the Father.
The Abscondant Hobo: By now, the demon that was in my wife fled the area. Turns out my real wife? She's not a whole helluva lotta friendly.
M4573rF4c70r3r: Haha
The Abscondant Hobo: So we had to get Blessed Tom the Accountant to annul the divorce under grounds of demonic possession.
The Abscondant Hobo: We're not sure if that's cool in the Church or not, but he said it was cool, and he IS the priest.
The Abscondant Hobo: The next day, a horde of demons burned our town. One possessed my kayak.
The Abscondant Hobo: The end
M4573rF4c70r3r: By the wife's demon?
The Abscondant Hobo: I can't keep track of 'em all.
M4573rF4c70r3r: Ah, true.
M4573rF4c70r3r: Fuckin' demons.
The Abscondant Hobo: But that reminds me of another story.
M4573rF4c70r3r: Most things do.
The Abscondant Hobo: So, I was fightin' demons this one time, right?
M4573rF4c70r3r: Right.
The Abscondant Hobo: And we were in a pitched battle. Neo-Crusaders vs. the Darkened Hordifex.
The Abscondant Hobo: Trench warfare. Mustard Gas vs. Slung Sulfur.
The Abscondant Hobo: Finally, both sides made a final push. The carnage was terrible.
The Abscondant Hobo: Me? I went the other way.
The Abscondant Hobo: Made it to a river. Found a boat.
The Abscondant Hobo: Tiny damn thing. More like a kayak.
M4573rF4c70r3r: Eheh
The Abscondant Hobo: I rowed it down the river and landed on the other side.
The Abscondant Hobo: Then, just to make sure that no one would try use it to chase after me, I knocked a hole in it.
The Abscondant Hobo: But I had some Futuremesh, nigh invisible fabric used mainly to patch up gaping wounds.
The Abscondant Hobo: So, just in case, I put it on the hole and booked it.
The Abscondant Hobo: I journeyed for days and weeks, never leaving the forest.
The Abscondant Hobo: Eventually, I found a nice spot by the river and built a house, made a life in the nearby town.
The Abscondant Hobo: I found a boat near the river.
