All Nighter Hijinks

Sorry for the lack of posts. End of semester crunch. Speaking of, I pulled an all nighter. I think I'm the most hilarious person on the planet in those wee hours. Here are the two things that tickled my fancy today:

1) A friend of mine logged on facebook. Here's what I spammed within forty seconds:

My eyes buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrnnnnnn

With righteous fuuuurrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy

Of a thousand wintery Christmasesssssssssssssssss

Of outrageous ragggggggggeeeeeeee

The likes of which haven't been seen since the Third Intergalactic Fightin' Space Operrrrraaaaaaaaaaaa

Where Chester MacDougal and his Pugilistic Pachyderms faced off against the Clown Herd known only as Pocketttttssssssss




I really like the idea of a clown organization named Pockets. The idea I had originally was that it was one kind of fat clown with like, a hundred pockets, and each pocket had a tiny, like, six inch clown that lived inside it.


2)This was left on my sister's facebook wall in three installments a few minutes apart:

HANNAH. OH GOD. I'M HOPPED UP ON ENERGY DRINKS. I THINK I'M SICK, I DON'T KNOW. I HAD A FEVER MAYBE LAST NIGHT. MY HEAD FEELS FUNNY, AND THIS PAPER STILL ISN'T DONE. I THINK I HEAR GREMLINS. SEND HELP. MAY NOT RESPOND, SIGNAL GETTING WEA--BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEEEP BEEP-BEEP - ::end morse code::

::Bzzt...Kshhht:: -ERE! We can't hold them out anymore, SOMEONE GAVE THE DAMNED PENGUINS RIFLES! We're going to send Jeeves out there to try to reason with them. Will update on the situation. Wait, does that one have hedge clippers? Damnit, is he going after the power cabl--

::User Logged In: HELPPENGUINSARERAPINGJEE::
HELPPENGUINSARERAPINGJEE: Anyone here? They cut our power and cable lines. The laptop only has a few minutes and the satellite signal is pretty shaky. Look, we need help, penguins are raping Jeeves. He went out there with some fish, and I guess holding fish and not immediately eating it is a rapeable offense in Penguin Culture. Anyway, while they've been busy, we reinforced the door. Battery's dying, will try to find another way here.




...Heeeeeehe.

Oh, I forgot one other thing. This was mid-conversation, but I'm cutting that out.

[09:46] TheAuburnDragon: That spells MATT LEVEL OF LUSHNESSOCITUDE
[09:46] TheAuburnDragon: -5 to Sobriety, +5 to Imagined Sex Appeal
[09:47] TheAuburnDragon: +10 to Hilarity Modulator, +20 to Wiskideek
[09:47] TheAuburnDragon: 0 to Alcohol Tolerance
[09:48] Snuggs1420: But see, I don't get Wiskideek
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: +Goat
[09:48] Snuggs1420: In fact, drinking gives me +50 to omgIwantya
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: Ok
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: Ok, ok ok, so
[09:48] Snuggs1420: It's a girl thing
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: If I ever create a game or RPG
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: I'm going to give someone an item that is +Goat
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: And I won't tell them what it does
[09:48] Snuggs1420: lol
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: Until the next time they're on a mountain
[09:49] Snuggs1420: Hahahaha
[09:49] TheAuburnDragon: And a mountain goat fucking butts them off the mountain
[09:49] Snuggs1420: oooooo, you know what this reminds me of?
[09:49] TheAuburnDragon: ....What can this possibly remind you of?

She then linked a WoW video with is irrelevant.

You've finished the post! You gain Penguin Battle Armor: +20 to Pockets, +15 to Butlery, +5 to Adorability, +SeaLion.

...I suggest you don't go in the ocean.

You Awaken - First Installment

I'm going to try to at least pretend to participate in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  Here's what I've done today.

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            You awaken several hours later in a daze. The lights are off and you can't see. At your feet you feel something heavy and warm. There is a hard pillow beneath your head. A whirring sound softly emanates from off to your left.

            You reach left and your hand taps into a glitchy lava lamp. The bump causes it to flicker to life, illuminating the room in a red glow. The cat on your feet blinks angrily at the light and moves to under the bed. The door is closed, as are the curtains over the window. You are pretty certain this isn't your room.

            You sit up and open the blinds.  It’s night time and a full moon is out.  You’re on the third floor of this building.  Outside is a narrow, two lane street with cars lining it.  Across the street is an old brick building with a purple neon sign depicting a sultry lady.  A name is on the bottom, but the only letters that work are I, E, and N.

            You try to open the window, but it is jammed.  The cat has emerged from under the bed and is now pawing at the door expectantly.

            You get out of bed to go open the door.  You’re wearing pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt.  The shirt is black with a waving, smiling stick figure on it.  There’s a piece of paper in your right pocket.  It’s a crumpled photograph.  It looks altered, like two different pictures were combined at the center.  Half of it shows a vaguely familiar woman and the other shows a vaguely familiar man.

            You open the door.  Outside the room is a white-wallpapered hallway lit by a series of dingy yellow lights and home to a dark red carpet.  It stretches far to the right, doors lining it at fifteen foot intervals on both sides.  The left has two more doors before it rounds a corner.  Old, tinny music emanates from one of the rooms to the right.  The cat runs to the left and around the corner. 

            You walk toward the music.  You can’t see the end of the hallway.  You pass doors with no discernable labeling order: A37, 1115, 42C, Q. The music seems to be getting closer - Hush, hush, hush, here comes the Bogeyman - but when you turn around, you’re one door down from the room you just left.  The music abruptly fades back into the distance.  A light far in the distance flickers off.