All Nighter Hijinks

Sorry for the lack of posts. End of semester crunch. Speaking of, I pulled an all nighter. I think I'm the most hilarious person on the planet in those wee hours. Here are the two things that tickled my fancy today:

1) A friend of mine logged on facebook. Here's what I spammed within forty seconds:

My eyes buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrnnnnnn

With righteous fuuuurrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy

Of a thousand wintery Christmasesssssssssssssssss

Of outrageous ragggggggggeeeeeeee

The likes of which haven't been seen since the Third Intergalactic Fightin' Space Operrrrraaaaaaaaaaaa

Where Chester MacDougal and his Pugilistic Pachyderms faced off against the Clown Herd known only as Pocketttttssssssss




I really like the idea of a clown organization named Pockets. The idea I had originally was that it was one kind of fat clown with like, a hundred pockets, and each pocket had a tiny, like, six inch clown that lived inside it.


2)This was left on my sister's facebook wall in three installments a few minutes apart:

HANNAH. OH GOD. I'M HOPPED UP ON ENERGY DRINKS. I THINK I'M SICK, I DON'T KNOW. I HAD A FEVER MAYBE LAST NIGHT. MY HEAD FEELS FUNNY, AND THIS PAPER STILL ISN'T DONE. I THINK I HEAR GREMLINS. SEND HELP. MAY NOT RESPOND, SIGNAL GETTING WEA--BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEEEP BEEP-BEEP - ::end morse code::

::Bzzt...Kshhht:: -ERE! We can't hold them out anymore, SOMEONE GAVE THE DAMNED PENGUINS RIFLES! We're going to send Jeeves out there to try to reason with them. Will update on the situation. Wait, does that one have hedge clippers? Damnit, is he going after the power cabl--

::User Logged In: HELPPENGUINSARERAPINGJEE::
HELPPENGUINSARERAPINGJEE: Anyone here? They cut our power and cable lines. The laptop only has a few minutes and the satellite signal is pretty shaky. Look, we need help, penguins are raping Jeeves. He went out there with some fish, and I guess holding fish and not immediately eating it is a rapeable offense in Penguin Culture. Anyway, while they've been busy, we reinforced the door. Battery's dying, will try to find another way here.




...Heeeeeehe.

Oh, I forgot one other thing. This was mid-conversation, but I'm cutting that out.

[09:46] TheAuburnDragon: That spells MATT LEVEL OF LUSHNESSOCITUDE
[09:46] TheAuburnDragon: -5 to Sobriety, +5 to Imagined Sex Appeal
[09:47] TheAuburnDragon: +10 to Hilarity Modulator, +20 to Wiskideek
[09:47] TheAuburnDragon: 0 to Alcohol Tolerance
[09:48] Snuggs1420: But see, I don't get Wiskideek
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: +Goat
[09:48] Snuggs1420: In fact, drinking gives me +50 to omgIwantya
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: Ok
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: Ok, ok ok, so
[09:48] Snuggs1420: It's a girl thing
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: If I ever create a game or RPG
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: I'm going to give someone an item that is +Goat
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: And I won't tell them what it does
[09:48] Snuggs1420: lol
[09:48] TheAuburnDragon: Until the next time they're on a mountain
[09:49] Snuggs1420: Hahahaha
[09:49] TheAuburnDragon: And a mountain goat fucking butts them off the mountain
[09:49] Snuggs1420: oooooo, you know what this reminds me of?
[09:49] TheAuburnDragon: ....What can this possibly remind you of?

She then linked a WoW video with is irrelevant.

You've finished the post! You gain Penguin Battle Armor: +20 to Pockets, +15 to Butlery, +5 to Adorability, +SeaLion.

...I suggest you don't go in the ocean.